The Childrens Bible in a Nutshell- Judas Asparagus – Bible Humor

Too funny! From the eyes of a child!

Darrell Creswell - A Study of Christian Grace

heaven children matthew 19:14The following is supposedly written by a child. After reading it I am of the opinion it was written by an adult but it is entertaining nevertheless. I hope it puts a smile on your face. 🙂 It was sent to me by a friend and the author is unknown.

A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible. This is amazing and should bring tears of laughter to your eyes. Here is what was written:

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there wasnothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says,’The Lord thy God is one,’ but I think He must be a lot older than that.

Anyway, God said, ‘Give me a light!’ and someone did.
Then God made the world.


He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren’t embarrassed because mirrors hadn’t…

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No more excuses!

Is there something you need to do today that should have been done–a long time ago?

Well, now is the time to get it done–whatever the “it” is–do it now–no more excuses!

You’ve been saying for years that you wanted to go back to school–get it done, now!

You’ve been telling yourself and anyone else who would listen–that you were going to exercise–get it done, now!

You promised your children you would spend more time with them–do it now!

What about that promise to your spouse–whatever it may have been–stop procrastinating and get it done now!

Stop making excuses for not doing what you need to do and get it done now!

Don’t wait for another “tomorrow” because tomorrow’s sun may not shine in your life-get it done, now!

Find reasons to accomplish, not excuses to put things off-until…!  When we consistently delay in doing the things that must be done, we become our own worst enemy.  It is not the dog’s fault, the cat’s fault, the neighbor’s fault, the children’s fault, the spouse’s fault, the teacher’s fault, the school’s fault, the government’s fault–the fault–apathy–being a procrastinator–lies within us–own it and do something about it.

The more we attempt to do in order to accomplish all that God has put on our hearts to do–each day–the more we honor Him and the more we honor Him with what we do, the more blessings we can expect from Him.  No more excuses–get it done!