I know there are a number of people out there in the world who didn’t have their fathers in their lives. But just because I didn’t have my father in my life, doesn’t mean I cannot appreciate those who did have theirs and understand the importance of recognizing them.
I cannot remember my father or my step-father carrying me to bed at night because I fell asleep some place other than my bed. However, I can appreciate and envy somewhat, those who did.
I didn’t have my father around to encourage me or tell me everything was going to be all right when things went wrong.
I didn’t have my father around to encourage good grades in school (my step-father did until he and mother parted), but I got good grades anyway.
I didn’t have my father around to screen (or scare away) the boys I liked or the men I chose to marry, and I really wish I had for some of them.
I didn’t have my father around to give me away when I married, but someone stepped in and saved the day.
I didn’t have my father around when I walked across the stage or received my degrees, but that didn’t stop me from doing so.
I didn’t have my father around for so many special events in my life that if I really wanted to resent him, I could, but I don’t.
I didn’t understand when I was little why my father and mother couldn’t get along, but it doesn’t matter now–I’m grown and have a better idea of why adults have conflicts and some just cannot be resolved.
With all the things I didn’t have with my father, I did have a few special moments when I decided to get to know him on my own. No, my father was not a perfect man, but he was good man and he did provide for his children. Even though he was not there for me for many things, I was there to do his eulogy when he died–my first and hopefully–my last.
Just because I did not have him in my life the way many people do, doesn’t mean I didn’t love him or that he didn’t love me. I simply had to recognize that life is not fair or just when it comes to human frailties; it is what it is and it’s up to us to make the most of life–with or without a father standing behind us or living with us.
I choose to look to the One Father I can always count on and because He is who He is in my life–I don’t have to have regrets or resentments because of what I didn’t have with my biological father.
Happy Father’s Day–to the One who is always our Father and never abandons us!
Wow! Amazing and heartfelt! You are a gifted writer and I an happy in stumbled across this beautiful reflection. God bless you.