COVID19 Our Lives Matter

I’ve been watching as the world turns and evolves and grapples with the devastating crisis for which there is no cure. Lives are changed forever–and some are lost–leaving grieving families and friends, wondering what happened. Though I am not a health expert or scientist, I can say with confidence, this didn’t have to be this way.

When it was first known–with the confirmed case in November in Wuhan, it should have been taken seriously and every effort made to make sure the loss of lives was mitigated by attempts to thwart the spread of the virus–not deny its existence. The denial of its existence and refusal to address the damage the virus could cause is the reason we are seeing what we see now in America.

When will the lives of human beings become more important than a election to trump? Oh, he’s doing “something” now, but what he could have done when he was first told of the possibility of widespread contagion and didn’t do, will never make up for the lives lost. And the first thing he did–dismantling the agency that could have prepared America for this pandemic–should have been a red flag about his incompetence. Anyone supporting his position right now is just as guilty of murder as he is.

What we don’t need is a petty, grudge-mongering self-indulgent narcissistic bully in charge of anything that has to do with this crisis. America deserves to have leadership who at least understands the importance of having experts direct the path we take to navigate us to victory, with the least number of lives lost in the process. What we don’t need is a pathological liar who blames everything he did wrong on others. What we don’t need is a bloated egotistical orange menace trying to explain anything.

What we need is strong leadership capable of assessing the situation and doing what’s right, no matter who does it. Now is not the time for egos to rise to the surface–whoever comes up with a viable solution should be welcomed, no matter what their political party affiliation. We need appropriate supplies for our healthcare system and workers, tests for those who need to be tested and a populace who takes the warnings and admonitions seriously. We cannot stop a virus from spreading if we’re not willing to do our part to keep it from spreading.

STAY HOME!  STAY HOME! STAY HOME! BY STAYING HOME, WE SAVE LIVES–OURS AND OTHERS!

What we really need in this situation (aside from appropriate medical care) is a wealth of common sense exercised in every community. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out the more we isolate ourselves from potential harm, the fewer lives will be at risk of contracting this virus.

The stories–of lost lives and hurting families are numerous–primarily because families didn’t get a chance to say good-bye to those afflicted and died. We can do better folks. We must do better. Use technology to communicate with others rather than attempting to congregate in public places where the virus can attach itself. If we exercise a little wisdom now, we’ll have plenty of time to gather together when the decline of the virus is known and we can all breathe a little easier.

This is not a great time for any of us–most can’t stand to be isolated–but we must do, what we must do, because our lives matter. We must listen to the experts, not the know-nothing menace in the WH!

 

 

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When To Judge?

The Goldwater Rule Psychiatrists who belong to the American Psychiatric Association are constrained in their public comments by the Goldwater rule, which guides them to speak mostly of diagnostic categories and people in general. (Psychology Today)

Recently, while watching a number of news shows discussing the “mental fitness” of Donald Trump, I was reminded of a couple of things when the news hosts, always qualified what they were saying by invoking the Goldwater Rule, as did other pundits.

Here’s what struck me about people saying, “we can’t diagnose without an examination and an assessment without an examination, is based upon our perceptions of the observations” (or words to that effect). They also acknowledged they were just “lay persons” having the discussion–no expertise in the matter.

Here’s my issue and it’s more “civil responsibilities” in jury selection. To my knowledge–very few people selected for jury duty have any expertise in the matter before them, yet they are expected to listen to attorneys arguing their points, witness testimony, judge’s instructions and make a decision regarding a person’s life or a company’s continued existence. More often than, the people serving on a jury may or may not have a high school diploma, maybe a college degree, but most don’t have medical or legal expertise in matter they’re asked to judge.

If jurors are expected to render a decision in a trial situation without expertise, why can’t news commentators and hosts, render a conclusion about a situation they observe up close and personal on a daily basis? This is extremely curious to me. Most of the journalists who accompany trump or are in the White House on a consistent basis, know exactly what is behavior is and whether or not–he should be deemed, “mentally fit” to be in the Oval Office. After all, none of them are psychiatrists who have to worry about being removed or humiliated by the field of psychiatry.

From my perch–usually from sitting in my recliner (arm-chair psychiatry, I guess), I observe what trump says and does on a fairly regular basis since March 2016. As an educator with a background of special education knowledge, I noticed from the beginning there was something wrong and I stated it on more than one occasion through my blogs here and on Medium. I listened to the speech pattern and knew there was a disconnect between neurotransmitters in his brain. “Through research, we know that mental disorders are brain disorders. Evidence shows that they can be related to changes in the anatomy, physiology, and chemistry of the nervous system. When the brain cannot effectively coordinate the billions of cells in the body, the results can affect many aspects of life” (The National Institute of Mental Health).

What I’ve observed is that his limited vocabulary, inability to clearly enunciate certain words or pronounce them correctly is a clear indication of something not functioning properly. His inability to demonstrate empathy and appropriate responses in specific situations was another indicator that a disconnect exists which is resultant of a malignant narcissistic personality disorder (again, chemical development or lack thereof in the brain). His recent bouts of forgetting where he is (documented on video on at least three different occasions) and struggling for words along with his incessant gestures while “reading a speech” speak volumes about his lack of confidence in his ability.

Now, for those who have read most of my blogs you might think I’m being nasty since I have no respect for him. I’m not being nasty, I’m simply stating my observations which have been discussed by many others. Am I offering a psychiatric opinion? No. I’m concerned that the opinions that have been offered are being ignored simply because he won’t submit to a neurological examination to determine what’s going on inside his brain and those psychiatrists who have offered opinions, haven’t examined him.

My point to all this is–why should jurors determine the conclusion of a matter when they have no expertise when we won’t allow the experts to weigh in on a situation that could be detrimental to our entire society or the world (nuclear codes access)? That seems to be an oxymoronic dichotomy that should be rectified. Will we ever see it? I don’t know, but I’m going to continue to observe and write my conclusions so that if there comes a time that something horrible happens, I’ll have to find a media outlet and scream about the conclusions drawn when no one else–would.

I’m standing my ground as I prepare to make a difference in our society (if we survive a nuclear attack).

In The Midst Of It All!

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way, and mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.  God is within her, she will not fail; God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Come and see what the Lord has done, the desolations he has brought on the earth.  He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth. He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire. He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Psalm 46 NIV

With all the hurricanes, tornadoes, and storms of life, we can sometimes feel overwhelmed with all turmoil, chaos, and upheaval, fear and frustration. But take heart, God is in the midst of all we experience–good and bad, right and wrong. We simply need to exercise wisdom in all things in order to survive the forces of nature or man-manipulated events.

Yesterday, we acknowledged the events of 9/11 in 2001.  A disastrous day for many and a horrific event most of us will not forget any time soon. While many reverenced the memorial moments of silence–trump barreled through his (Miller written) speech without any consideration for the significance of the event.

For those who are yet dealing with the challenges and struggles left behind by Harvey and now Irma, looking at enormity of the situation–lives lost and property loss and damage, we know it’s difficult, but know that God has not forsaken and He will always be in the midst of our struggles.  This doesn’t mean that we should ignore the extended hands of those who wish to help–God has always worked through people and He always shall.

So, for those who think prayer alone is the answer–think again. Prayer works when people allow the help God sends to manifest the answer to the prayer. Simple analogy: Two people are praying to get jobs. One goes out and applies for jobs until they get one and the other, sits and mopes all day long, complaining about why God hasn’t answered their prayers. “Faith without works is dead” and if we’re praying for anything, we must also do something–make our requests known to others (apply for the job) or accept the leads from others when offered.

We can believe for healing and never do anything–see a doctor, a specialist, take medicine, whatever–and never get healed. Or we can pray and do all that we are instructed to do and get healed.

Living life and seeing God in the midst of all we do–isn’t hard. We just have to know what our relationship is with Him and trust Him in all things. God is love and He is going to love us regardless of what we do and since He loves us–He will not “send” tragedies to get our attention or teach us a lesson. We learn lessons from living–daily and in the midst of it all–God speaks to those who are willing to hear Him, but it is a message of love and encouragement, not a hateful word of condemnation. When we proceed in life with our own sense of “righteousness” we often miss God in the midst of situations that require us to show others who He is, by our interactions with them–loving others, no matter what.

Since I know my relationship with Him is strong and always getting stronger, I’m trusting Him to lead me on this path I’ve chosen (I, not Him) in pursuing a bid for the 2020 presidency. Whether He wants me to win or not remains to be seen, but no matter what happens, I know He will be right there in the midst of it all!

What We Need Is Love!

It has given me great joy to find some of your children walking in the truth, just as the Father commanded us. An now, dear lady, I am not writing you a new command but one we have had from the beginning. I ask that we love one another. And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love. I say this because many deceivers, who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh, have gone out into the world. Any such person is the deceiver and the antichrist. Watch out that you do not lose what we have worked for, but that you may be rewarded fully. Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ does not have God; whoever continues in the teaching has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not take them into your house or welcome them. Anyone who welcomes them shares in their wicked work. 2 John 4-11 NIV

John’s letter is just as clear today as I’m sure it was to the church when he wrote it. If we claim to know God the Father and Jesus the Son, we must walk in love. For Jesus said, “Love the Lord thy God with all your heart soul and mind and love your neighbor as yourself.” These are His commandments. If we have not love, we are not walking in love and cannot love others.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, over and over until we get it or my fingers stop working or my lips are sealed in death. IF WE DO NOT LOVE OURSELVES, WE CANNOT LOVE OTHERS!

If we do not recognize that hate is taught–planted in the hearts of people from an early age as demonstrated by those around them who say hateful and bigoted things about other people simply because they do not look like them, act like them, or worship like them. Here’s my question for all who think they have a “moral right” to tell other people anything: Who did you die for that we might have access to the kingdom of heaven?

I’m not saying we shouldn’t teach God’s Word–accurately and coherently–I’m saying none of us–imperfect beings that we are–can take a moral high ground if we don’t know love. There have been times in my life when I allowed my “emotions” to overrule logic and it brought disastrous results. We cannot allow our fickle-ever-changing emotions to dictate our lives and expect peace and harmony. It won’t work.

What will work–for every human being on the planet–is for us to take the time to seriously do some introspection into what makes us who we are. Are we so bound to tradition and feelings that we cannot accept truth about ourselves and no matter how many times we are proven wrong, we continue in the same path? We have to be honest with a critical assessment of our ability to love self–accept our shortcomings without blaming others for what we don’t have or can’t do. We have to acknowledge that our lives are the end result of what we have put into them. If we put nothing into a bank account, we cannot withdraw from it (legally). The same is true of our lives–whatever we want out of it–must align with what we’re willing to put into it. If we all we do is nurture hate–that seed that was planted before we were able to recognize it–then all we’ll get out of life is refutation and rejection.

Most people who honestly care about where they are in life have sat down and realistically assessed their lives and how they got there. I’ve heard of so many people who were taught to hate, come to a place in their lives where they realize hate never solves any problems and they changed. They began to love themselves, seeing themselves in another light–a beacon that could pave the way of success for others.

What we need–more than anything else in this world right now–is to learn to love self so we can love others. For when we love others, we only want the best for them and we work together to accomplish that end. Knowing that love trumps hate is not just a slogan or buzz words. Love truly conquers hate in every imaginable way. It may not happen over night, or in a month in the next two years, but we have to start somewhere. And now is the time.

Let’s work on promoting love, eradicating the hate that resides in the hearts of so many. If hate can be learned, then so can love and love is far more pleasant experience. When we see hate being promoted–we must stand firm and call it what it is–no using any euphemisms to disguise it–just call it what it is: hate, racism, bigotry, misogyny, xenophobia and whatever else destructive attitudes and actions can be called–CALL IT OUT AND THOSE WHO PERPETUATE IT!

Since we only have this one planet that is considered fit for human habitation, we might as well learn to live together in harmony before we decimate the human race because of hate. Love is the answer and it has been from the beginning and forever will be.

I’m Mary M. Hall-Rayford and I approve this message and will be moving forward in my bid for president in 2020. I hope you join me in promoting love and not hate. http://www.facebook.com/YesIAm2020 browse and like my page.

Repentance and Forgiveness!

Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all. Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:9-14 NIV

In order for us to receive forgiveness, we must willing to admit when we’re wrong. If a person can never admit being wrong or in need of forgiveness, how can they be forgiven?

Many are those who always cry, “forgive, forgive” but that’s only when it pertains to someone else, not them. And the other side of the coin is–the person who keeps doing wrong, never repents of the wrongdoing–never turns away from doing wrong–because they never admit they are wrong. Apologies–it would seem to some–are for losers and therefore–a winner never apologizes for anything–in their mind. So, if there is no admittance or apology, there can be no forgiveness for if there is–it is just a matter of words, not sincerity since true forgiveness, comes with a change of heart.

We are told–in The Word–that from the abundance of the heart–the mouth speaks. From that we can conclude by what we hear–what is in a person’s heart. If all we hear is hatred and bigotry, lies and finger-pointing, then what we hear is what’s overflowing in their heart.

If we attach a color to every trait or virtue–what color would our hearts be? We’ve heard of people having a black heart (pure evil), but is that what resides within us? For all those virtues that are positive–love, joy, hope, forgiveness, humility, and sincerity,–let’s color them yellow. For all the negative traits–lying, hatred, bigotry, fear-mongering–let’s color them black. Now, let’s take a look at what appears to be a halo over people–is it light or is it darkness? Darkness does not drive out light, but light certainly drives out darkness so it would benefit all for us to have light in our hearts rather than darkness.

Not one of us–living past the age of seven–can say we’ve never done anything wrong. And as kids, when we did something wrong we were punished–if we had loving parents. As adults, we have to recognize when our behavior is not conducive to maintaining peace or when infringing upon the rights of others. When we do wrong–we admit it–apologize and seek forgiveness and let it go, not holding grudges.

When we repent–turn away from those things that offend God and turn to Him to stay on the right path, He forgives and never reminds us of all the wrong we’ve ever done. But the enemy–the prince of darkness–will always seek a way to get into our minds to remind us of what we’ve done in hopes of keeping us distracted. We don’t have to let the enemy influence our thoughts or our deeds. We simply have to remember who it is we serve and serve Him with gladness and joy in our hearts.

However–if we never acknowledge doing wrong–there is no true repentance and therefore forgiveness is not received. For what we do not admit when we’re wrong, God cannot forgive us. And if we say we’re sorry for doing something when we are not–the lack of sincerity will be revealed in our continued wrongdoing.

Beloved, let’s love one another with a sincere heart–allowing the light of hope and joy to override the darkness impelled by fear and hatred. God is love and if we love Him, we can love others for love resides in our hearts in abundance. And if we love, we can forgive when others admit their wrongdoing and we should not hold it against them.

Three Days Later!

About that time Hezekiah became deathly ill, and the prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to visit him. He gave the king this message: “This is what the LORD says: Set your affairs in order, for you are going to die. You will not recover from this illness.” When Hezekiah heard this, he turned his face to the wall and prayed to the LORD, “Remember, O LORD, how I have always been faithful to you and have served you single-mindedly, always doing what pleases you.” Then he broke down and wept bitterly. But before Isaiah had left the middle courtyard,[fn] this message came to him from the LORD: “Go back to Hezekiah, the leader of my people. Tell him, ‘This is what the LORD, the God of your ancestor David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears. I will heal you, and three days from now you will get out of bed and go to the Temple of the LORD. I will add fifteen years to your life, and I will rescue you and this city from the king of Assyria. I will defend this city for my own honor and for the sake of my servant David.’” 2 Kings 20:1-6 NLT

For those of us who know how The Lord does things, we know that nothing that ever happens is a surprise to Him and we also know, that if we seek Him, he will alert us to those things to come. That’s Holy Spirit’s job–to remind us of all we have been taught to show us things to come.

God has alerted all those who are truly watchmen–those who stand ready to sound the alarm for the benefit of the people and the alarm has been sounded, but not many are willing to hear and respond because–they’re not the ones sounding it.

Today, is a good day to meditate on God’s Word–seeking a better understanding of His character, and determining to make a change in our own. If we are willing to seek God and Him alone–not the news outlets or radio talk shows–God can and will reveal to us those things to come and how we should conduct ourselves–as ambassadors of Jesus Christ.

And in three days–God will do as He has done before–establish a sure path for us all to see His miracles–changed hearts, changed behaviors, and changed mindsets–determined to serve Him.

I’ll return to my regular blogging in three days and I pray, while I’m praying for a miracle, that whoever reads this, will also pray for me–to act upon the courage I know God will instill in me to do as He says to do.

It’s Time To Repent!

Then the word of the LORD came to me: “Son of man, these men have set up idols in their hearts and put wicked stumbling blocks before their faces. Should I let them inquire of me at all? Therefore speak to them and tell them, ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: When any of the Israelites set up idols in their hearts and put a wicked stumbling block before their faces and then go to a prophet, I the LORD will answer them myself in keeping with their great idolatry. I will do this to recapture the hearts of the people of Israel, who have all deserted me for their idols.’ “Therefore say to the people of Israel, ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Repent! Turn from your idols and renounce all your detestable practices! Ezekiel 14:2-6 NIV

The Word of The Lord!

If we keep our focus on Him–the Sovereign Lord–and worship only Him, we would not need to repent of detestable practices, but since we don’t–we need to repent!

But many will say, “Repent of what? I’ve done nothing wrong.”

When men and women see themselves as the only authority in their lives, then there is a need to inspect what they do, measure it against The Word, and see if what they’re doing is based upon The Word or their own desires. Once they realize–how out of order they are, they need to repent–turning away from whatever they’re doing that is not like God and turn to God and do things God’s way.

So, here’s the list of things we need to repent from:

We need to repent from lying and spreading falsehoods just to make a point.

We need to repent from supporting, endorsing, and enabling those who are doing ungodly things.

We need to repent from promoting fear, hatred, and bigotry to win people’s hearts with an ungodly strategy.

We need to repent from worshiping people.

We need to repent from doing ungodly things.

We need to repent from trusting people more than we trust God.

We need to repent from seeking the news media outlets for truth rather than seeking God’s Wisdom and His Truth in His Word.

Once we repent from doing all the things that we know are not like God, and ask Him to forgive us, then we will see restoration–of civility, and the promotion of love and the establishment of peace.

Without repentance–totally turning away from ungodliness and a complete turn to God–there is no forgiveness. God knows our hearts and insincerity has no place in our lives when we are seeking God to guide us.

Believers know or should know the heart of God and His desire for all to love and live in peace. It’s time for us to repent of any wrongdoing–according to God’s Word–and do things God’s way. We are His ambassadors–the example of who He Is–but if we are living in opposition to His Word–the world will never know who He Is and how much He loves all who come to Him.

Let’s Be Honest!

Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:13-21 NIV

What the world needs now–is love–God’s love–overflowing the banks of our hearts, flooding our souls, saturating every fiber of our beings until all hate and fear is washed away.

But before that can happen, we must be honest with ourselves and everyone else.

There is brewing–just below the surface–a volcanic eruption of hate and when it spills over onto the masses, we will witness such carnage as we’ve never seen–unless we are honest about where we are–our attitudes–towards other human beings.

We cannot ignore the hatred that exists towards others: White people hating black people, hating Native Americans, Black people hating white people and black people, White people hating White people–all people hating anyone–red, yellow, brown, black or white it does not matter–what the color of our skin is–we are all precious in God’s sight!

Where there is hate–LOVE cannot reign in the hearts of people, for if we have not received His love, we have no love to give. And anyone–absolutely anyone–hiding behind any banner–Christian, KKK, law enforcement, mothers, fathers, grandparents–teachers, judges, politicians, political candidates–anyone who promotes hate is guilty of the blood flowing from inciting the masses. They are guilty and should be ashamed of themselves for their promotion of hatred–building walls of division instead of bridges for relationships–and for every person that is grieving the loss of a loved one because of someone else instigating the hatred–you, too should grieve–for you have grieved Holy Spirit by not obeying Him.

If this sounds like a rant–against hatred–so be it. I’m tired of so-called Christians supporting those who promote hatred and fear. I’m tired of so-called Christians, sitting idly by doing nothing, but quoting scriptures when they don’t apply them on a daily basis. I’m tired of so-called Christian leaders supporting fear-mongering instead of promoting the Gospel of Jesus Christ!  We will never win people to Christ by creating an atmosphere of fear and hatred and the promotion of bigotry–it is love that overcomes the evil that pervades the land.

Can we honestly say–without hesitation or doubt–that we are capable of loving all people–no matter their circumstances or positions in life; no matter what color their skin or are we doomed to suffer the consequences of our inability to love–unconditionally?

Let’s be honest with ourselves and with others. God already knows the truth. Then, after we admit our shortcomings to live–promoting peace and harmony–let’s repent, get off our behinds and do something about it–show somebody who looks differently than we do, thinks differently than we do —and pour on the love. Can we do that?

Watch this–https://youtu.be/HrAvdqVFyjc –it’s about ten minutes–and think about what is being said and if you agree–that it’s time for a change–join me in promoting love of all people!

Watch Your Mouth!

Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21 NKJV

James reminds us that the tongue–that little member–holds much power and the only person who controls it–is the person to whom it belongs.

With the tongue we can mend relationships or destroy them forever.

With the tongue we can construct greatness or ignite destruction.

With the tongue we can have peace or chaos.

With the tongue we can create an environment that brings about prosperity or fuel abject poverty.

With the tongue we can speak life–to our bodies and promote healing and wholeness or we can doom ourselves to sickness and disease.

With the tongue–we are responsible for all we say and we must watch what we say because once we say it–we cannot recall words out of the air as easily as we can recall cars that need repair. When we are foolish–we can apologize and ask forgiveness, but it doesn’t take away the sting and hurt of words that linger in the air and in our minds. We must watch our mouths.

When we speak positive things–our words are not often remembered, but the negative things we say, are remembered by others long after we have forgotten what we said.

We have an obligation to ourselves and others to make sure that before we speak, we have prayed and given much thought to how we want our tongues to function. We are to be slow to speak and quick to listen to all God has to say to us and if we listen and obey, we cannot go astray.

Watch your mouth! Think about how words function–to heal or hurt, to spring life or trip to death, the tongue–the tiny member over which we have complete control–must submit to God and only say those things that He says.

We are healed and whole, peacemakers and not peacebreakers, the head and not the tail, providers of those in need and not  manipulators of greed. We are His children, members of a royal priesthood, created to do good, not bad and we shall praise Him for His mighty acts as we live according to His Word so others might see our good works and praise Him,too.

We have shaken off the deeds of darkness and choose to live in the marvelous light of The Lord. We are encouragers to others to live by faith and will not discourage any to live the life God has destined for them.

We are more than conquerors and have victory in Jesus at every turn where the enemy has laid a snare.

We live according to the hope we have in Jesus, not in expectations of mere mortals for they have no power outside of His power to make a positive, lasting, difference in our lives. And we will watch what we say–speaking only as He speaks–so we can obtain what He has already planned for us.

Who Knew?

“For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter, though a person may be weighed down by misery. Since no one knows the future, who can tell someone else what is to come?” (Ecclesiastes 8:6,7 NIV)

Along life’s journey, we encounter all sorts of events–happy, sad, exciting, devastating–all of which tend to mold our personalities and certainly to influence our decisions. Today, is not a happy day for me; in fact, it is somewhat devastating–on an emotional level. It is realization that history–repeats itself with alarming accuracy.

Over twenty years ago, my son informed his sister and me that he didn’t have enough graduation tickets for her since he wanted his “absentee father” and half sister to attend his graduation. I was so devastated and angry with his announcement that I told him if his sister–the one who had always been there for him, no matter what–couldn’t attend then neither would I. I didn’t go to his graduation and a piece of my heart broke that day that I’ve discovered has never healed.

Yesterday, my grandson informed us (tearfully) that he is upset (thinking too far into the future) when he thinks about not seeing the people he wants to see most at his graduation–in three years–his “absentee” mother and other siblings. I felt like that old wound was opened and my heart cracked again. I’ve mentioned my grandson before–an adorable thirteen year-old (if such an age can be described as adorable), who has lived with me for most of his life. The paternal side of his family has attended every major event of his life, made sure he had everything he needed, and loved him–ferociously–especially when he needed to be protection from his mother.

I would never encourage him to not love or disrespect his mother, but I can hardly understand why her presence would be so important to him in light of the fact that she hasn’t seen him for the last four years. I know–kids love their mothers and they should–but what about a grandmother’s love–doesn’t that count for something?

It’s just so ironic for me–first my son and now my grandson—disregarding the one person who cared for them the most in favor of those who abandoned them.

None of us can predict the future and no matter how I wish I could have predicted this outcome, I don’t think it would hurt any less. But I understand why God doesn’t allow us to know much more than we do. It’s a protective measure so we won’t experience some of the life’s sadness any sooner than we need to do so. I know we are born to die–unless some are alive when He returns, but I never thought about our being born to have our hearts ripped right out of our chests.

I’m not writing to elicit sympathy, but to vent and hopefully to heal since I have always found writing to be cathartic. Perhaps, before this day is over, I’ll begin to mend and even if I don’t, I know God’s love will eventually help me to get over the hurt and move on to do all that He has desired me to do.

I must admit, I’ve been wondering–if I had known this day would come, would I have spent my time and money investing in his future, the way I have? But since I didn’t know, I can certainly not go back in time to change anything and I don’t know if I would, if I could. Who knew trying to love and help someone else to have a better life could be so painful?

Lord, I’m standing in need of Your wisdom to move forward and not be angry at anyone for the rest of my days.